Wisdom is an elusive force that skirts intellect and finds its home in the human heart. It’s a direct transmission by way of a chakra system that is open and strong, and a beeline to Infinite Energy in the Universe. It provides answers to difficult questions that often are answers we don’t want to hear, answers that disrupt our comfort zones, that force one to peel away masks that cover the truth. It’s inspirational and compassionate, and its force separates illusion from reality and strips naked intellectual gibberish that seemingly has veracity. The mind can analyze wisdom and make intelligent conclusions that often detract purity from vision, clarity from action, and real answers to difficult problems. The same energy that inspires composers, musicians, artists, and a bevy of creative people who are connected to a place in themselves that transcends the ordinary, enters all human beings, but is mostly converted into personality, ego, rational thinking, greed, charisma, neurosis, anxiety, and a host of impediments that interfere with conscious living.

I read numerous wisdom books like the Bible (both New and Old Testaments), Bhagavad Gita, Upanishads, Vedas, Kabbalistic treatises, and other books by famous writers who struggled to find truth. These books affected me, but I couldn’t transpose their wisdom and knowledge to my everyday life. Lost in a daily bad-choice-crapshoot that was instigated by subjective disturbances that kept me on edge, my life was a wrestling match that pitted the need for truth against anxiety that blocked creative forces. Though I was driven to find truth I couldn’t get past myself. I was told time and again that spirit could produce fine and original works of art. I wanted to write but

I am a vehicle through which Higher Energy flows,” I thought, “and it manifests whatever exists inside me.

couldn’t get past pent-up tension that blocked everything I had to say. I’d look at the art of great painters, haunt museums and galleries in quest of beauty; I’d listen to the music of Bach, Mozart, and Beethoven, and other composers, to tribal music and Indian Raga; I’d attend Avant-Garde theater as well as plays written by Shakespeare, Ibsen, Strindberg, Arthur Miller, and others, and was still at a loss when it came to pragmatic truth applied to my own life. I’d ask myself: “Where does creative energy come from? How can I learn to trust it? Why am I so tight inside? Am I talented enough to write a book?” I didn’t trust my own inner life and truth was just a mystical word to me. It existed in a place I was afraid to enter. Though it haunted me day and night, I couldn’t grasp its mysterious meanings. “Is there a God?” I thought. “If so, why this half-crazed and unhappy world?” Every time I tried to make sense of it, I came up empty.

I continued to search for meaning in my life. I read books on yoga, took classes, chanted and meditated, but still came up empty. My inner life was a chaotic and conflicted mess that nearly drove me into a sanitarium. I had no idea how to quiet the chaos. Words like tantra and kundalini were a foreign language I couldn’t speak or understand. I loved the art that surrounded those words but couldn’t make the ideas and principles a practical part of my life. It took nine years for me to discover that meditation is a craft that has tools. The tools are mind and breath and a chakra system that connects directly to spirit, a craft that opens internal pathways that lead to truth. A quiet mind, an open heart, foundation and balance are essential to attain even a semblance of inner peace.

“I am a vehicle through which Higher Energy flows,” I thought, “and it manifests whatever exists inside me. As I became less chaotic, the internal flow of shakti created a magical world full of wonderment, a joyous life that could be shared with others. It gave birth to whatever my talents were and enabled them to become a practical part of my life.”

Years of inner work enabled me to use tantra (sexual energy) to activate kundalini and move closer to enlightenment. Once I learned the craft of meditation and used it to develop a strong chakra system, the universe did the rest. My internal and external lives were both guided by the flow of spirit…

(To be continued…)

Painting by Mordecai Moreh

Painting by Mordecai Moreh