If lethargy and boredom are the ways of the world, they transform a healthy and youthful self into one that laches onto the mundane. The third act of life should be filled with happiness, love, and gratitude for the journey one has taken into the bosom of spirit. It rarely is. People substitute goals like money, power, sex, and other hidden and not so hidden rewards for the soul’s real purpose: the attainment of spiritual enlightenment. Age and death creep into a body that’s already weakened by aches and pains, by mental and physical illness, by weariness and weakness and the inability to make sense out of a world that lacks sensible ingredients. People judge the world according to a predetermined purview of things; one tosses opinions about like leaflets that advertise coming events. We rarely take time to see if our judgments ring true in the minds of others. They foster conflict, gossip, and a sad conclusion to what we thought were correct observations. It’s easy to fall into this kind of lifestyle if one dislikes oneself and can’t befriend the person with whom they spend twenty-four hours a day with.
The first step out of this dismal lifestyle was for me to take a good look in the mirror at my real self. I learned this under the tutelage of my spiritual teacher, Rudi. The good and bad I saw in the mirror reflected my true condition. My only out was to transform the mirror image of me into someone I liked and respected. “I’m worthy of a life full of love and happiness,” I thought. “I didn’t come to earth to be miserable.”
I freed myself from sorrowful death wishes and ceased being angry, fearful and a constant victim. No longer at odds with myself, friendships developed, even love relationships. My complaints weren’t unique. They were run-of-the-mill voiceovers with an inner diatribe that always reminded me I must grow and change. Without a sincere friendship with myself, there was always a stranger reflected in life’s mirror who made it impossible for me to communicate with others and feel at home in the world.
Kundalini meditation breaks down the self-images that make us believe we’re more important than others. “Less is more,” Rudi told me many times. Less ego, less personality, less inflated images of one’s position and self-importance that grows wearisome over time. “A deeper state of surrender” enables spirit to develop an inner life and guide one through the daily grinds. Kindness, compassion, and forgiveness help us to make up the difference for other people’s lack of consciousness. If the maxim “less is more” is true, every person, no matter how dysfunctional they are, can be our teacher. They reflect the part of one’s inner life that needs to change, and the steps that must be taken if our deepest need is to become fully human. We must free ourselves from whatever position we’ve attained in life. A saint must surrender sainthood; a guru his orange robe, monks their monk-dom, holier than thou sisterhoods their holiness, and people that are right all the time, their righteousness. The objective world has taught me much about surrender, listening, vulnerability, and letting life guide me deeper into myself…
(To be continued…)