—by Sara Galassini New York, NY
When I first decided to meet with Stuart I was in a very difficult moment. It wasn’t the first time that I was feeling so helpless and incapable of taking further steps with my life, as I was coming from 3 intense years of deep insecurities, confusion, contrasting feelings of love and hate towards the very same people that are the most important and precious to me. I was continuously battling with my inner self, my dreams and expectations towards myself and life, to the point of driving myself crazy by thinking the same thoughts over and over, hoping to find a solution to something that was becoming more complicated by the minute. I could hardly leave home because I was incapable of sharing my fragility with anybody around me. I knew I needed help but didn’t really know where to look for something or someone that could teach me how to embrace myself and learn to accept whatever was going on with me, and work from there.
One day I found the book Leah by Stuart Perrin. I read it and instantly felt that Stuart was the person that I needed to talk to, to open my heart to. I didn’t want to see doctors, as I have always known that there are other way of dealing with ourselves other than letting somebody else decide what’s best for us.
I wrote an email to him, and he responded right away. We arranged to meet after a few days. The Thursday that I was supposed to meet with him I was fine, I thought, until I stepped into the Starbucks where we had the appointment. I shook his hand and started crying without being able to stop myself for the whole half hour that we spent talking. Well, to this day I still don’t exactly know why I was crying, but deep inside myself I knew that I was starting to release some of the pain that I had been feeling for such a long time. Stuart’s words were very simple— he said: “Give yourself 6 months and you’ll see how you can change and become a happier person”. The following Sunday I was at his apartment, and he taught me a simple breathing exercise, and after a few moments we started meditating.
Before meeting Stuart I had never thought that I would ever meditate in my life. I had experienced yoga, but meditation had never entered my mind. After a few days of practice my energy had already changed enormously. I started to feel more positive, and I could think of what I wanted for myself and act toward my desires. The pressure of getting instant results was fading away, and I was becoming more capable of staying with myself, understanding the importance of patience. What was really happening was that I was more capable of listening to what was unfolding around me, and life was taking on a whole new perspective. Time was expanding, I was more present and willing to let myself be with all the insecurities, but less fears and less confusion. I was starting to enjoy the small things of life again, each moment was becoming more precious. I was finding the child that had been hiding somewhere inside me that I was longing to discover again.
This first month of meditation has opened new doors for me. I am much more connected with my real self and freer from the constant chitchatting of my mind. The practice of meditation has allowed me to taste moments of pure joy, less need of people’s support and love. When I feel strong enough inside all I need is myself to make me happy. I have just started a long journey, and I can see how much more is there for me to discover. It’s endless. It’s only up to me to want to keep on growing.